Adventures in Poetry

In my quest of procrastination this week, I logged off from the net temporarily and picked up a stack of unread books on my shelf in order to expand my mind. I blew through The Alchemist, started The Travel Writer's Handbook and picked up a collection of poetry I bought at a writing event a few months back.

Once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. I read through the entire 128 pages in one sitting and the images in the collection still won't leave me alone.

I'm talking about 'what is this thing called love' by Kim Addonizio. This is one cool chick, first of all. I met her at a workshop and she was so real and funny and honest. Her poetry isn't any different, just many layers deeper. After reading her collection, I honestly can't think of poetry the same way anymore.

I admit I am not a poet anymore. Oh, fear the day I scan some of my old poems from high school onto my facebook page! I studied the 'classics' in college but never ventured too far into modern poetry. Maybe that's why I'm so blown away by this little book. It turned everything I believed about the art on its head. Any poet that has a poem titled FUCK and actually pulls it off with an important message is one to pay attention to, in my opinion.

In the different sections, she touches upon love, dying and losing love, addictions and ghosts of the past. It's one of those collections I'll have to visit again to understand even the surface of what she puts out there. It is a collection that caused me to add more poetry collections to my list of requested books on bookmooch.com.

It is a collection that won't leave my head and let me work on my deadlines.

Taming the Monster

My name is Kelly and I will finally admit that I'm seriously addicted to the internet.

I had hours today to work on articles due this Friday, hours when the boys were in school, even after I picked up Shane from school and spent some quality time with him, I gained another hour of freedom until I have to pick up Bobby from his field trip.

Words written today: nada, unless you count the sentences above.

Phone calls to sources placed: 2 out of approx. 5 needed

Shower: nope

Dishes: Ha!

Car wash: yeah right

Bathing suit shopping: check

Hours spent online, pretending to research when really just browsing blogs, gossip on what the gals wore to the Sex and the City premiere, facebook, myspace and email: hmm, close to 3 if I added them up

Somebody please cut me off

On the job dangers

Sometimes it is just plain dangerous to be a writer. My Friday deadline has me immersed in the world of direct sales and home parties as a way to make a second or part-time income. For the last few hours, I have swam in web-copy about the potential earnings of consultants for Avon, Pampered Chef, Discovery Toys and PartyLite candles. I've researched the Direct Sellers Association and learned how to choose a company that will guide you to marketing success. I've learned about how to host a Passion Party and teach my friends and neighbors how to enhance their sexual enjoyment.

And Lord help me, it almost looks tempting. Wouldn't say I'm exactly cut out for the sex party hostessing, but the educational toys? Perhaps...

Preschooler Moons Teacher During Circle Time!

Honestly, why me?

I was not in the greatest frame of mind when I showed up at the boys' school to pick them up. I was feeling sickly and my morning writing session did not go well and am majorly blocked in an important subplot in the new novel (yeah, I know, the old novel isn't published yet...but that shouldn't stop me from working on a new one!)

Bobby's preschool teacher gave me the look, the 'I need a word with you' look.

"We had an incident today during circle time. Bobby got up in the middle of me talking and pulled down his pants and mooned me and the whole class [I'm envisioning him turning in circles like a little penguin to give all his girlfriends full view] and he was sent to the office [oooh!] and I expect you to talk to him about this behavior."

How embarassing! How horrible!

So freaking hilarious though.

I texted my friend Mel and she just laughed and basically intoned: gee, I wonder where the lad learns this kind of behavior?

Well! I don't know what she's trying to imply, by I'd never drop my drawers in the check out line at Safeway. I mean, really.

Then Shane, not to be outdone, walked straight into a birch tree trunk on the way into the library while I was giving Bobby 'the talk'.

"Now, you know why we can't pull down our shorts at school right?"

But Mommy, I did not know I could not do that. Andy told me to do it and if I didn't do it then Andy was going to yell real loud during circle time so I had to do it!

"So you were also talking and being disruptive while Ms. Paula was teaching?"

No, just whispering really quietly and I will never show my butt to Ms. Paula again...

SMACK!

Shane's forehead slams into tree-trunk,

That's something he definitely inherited from me...

Religious Orientation: Fill in the Blank

I had an a-ha moment of sorts late last night when I was playing with my new Facebook profile (I'm sure I'll comment more on that later). Like Myspace, which I joined sometime last year to keep an eye on my teenage niece, you create a profile where you list interests, favorite books, music, you post pictures, blogs and can search for old friends and leave comments. Facebook is the supposed 'more mature' networking site out there and a girlfriend encouraged me to check it out since she found a lot of old friends who must have thought Myspace too juvenile to join...

Wow, I guess I did make a long comment on facebook/myspace..

So as I filled out my profile, I came to the inevitable religious question. I didn't think much of it for my Myspace profile, but on facebook, it seems like every thing you fill out potentially connects you to a 'network'. The website will search your network for friends with the same interests and voila, you make even more friends, which I guess is the whole point of the social network. (duh there)

But my religion is complicated. Baptized Catholic with a smattering of church visits in my childhood, I eventually stopped the journey toward church-guided salvation before I hit my teens. Through college, I dabbled in various world religious texts. Yoga opened my mind to other ways to encompass spirituality, so let's just say, I can't be categorized. So i wrote: Open-Minded for my Orientation (religious and otherwise, I suppose). Alas, I belong to no network. I didn't want to write atheist, because I don't consider myself that. It just struck me late last night that I really don't have an affiliation and I'm kind of jealous to those that do have that group that embrace those same spiritual beliefs.

What if I want to just scrape a bit from the Buddhists, a dash of Judaism, extremely minimal amount of Christianity, some hinduism...then where does the whole new-agey New Earth/Secret/Law of Attraction propaganda fit in?
I'm so mixed up. And I'm extremely bummed I didn't find my own network. I guess it's back to facebook to browse the writer's networks.

That should be fun...

Pollard Favorites

I'm noticing us Pollards are turning quite stubborn in our tastes and habits this month. It's borderline ridiculous....



Shane's



*SOUP --breakfast, lunch and dinner if he could have his way. top ramen, chicken and stars, dora chicken and noodle, shrek or cars chicken and noodle, it could be 1000 degrees outside and the kid would still be screaming for hot soup! Any soup but the homemade variety, of course.

*TRUCKS-some things never change-monster trucks, pick-ups, tractors, hot rods, big rigs, fire trucks, tow trucks, truck books and movies and blah blah blah, why am I surrounded by so many boys that love trucks? Gee, you can't tell their father is a mechanic or anything.



Bobby's Faves



*TOYS-this is another ridiculous favorite. Coming off the birthday season, he seems to think every day warrants a trip to the store to spend birthday money (now looooong gone) on yet another toy: Transformers, trucks, cars, Pokemon, etc.

*HIS GARDEN-harvesting radishes, which he won't eat, as we speak. Eagerly waiting on tomatoes, carrots, cantelope, squash, lettuce, pumpkins, watermelon and whatever other seeds Bobby threw in the mix



My Faves



*NEUROTIC READING HABIT-my vow to not buy or check out any library books has turned me into quite the book nerd. I am determined to alternate genres with each book I finish, mostly from fiction to nonfiction, though that can change. Just finished Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, which I flew through--makes me want to write a historical fiction novel, I was so swept away. Now I'm tackling Buddha Never Was a Parent, Jesus Never Drove a Carpool, recommended by a beauty of a yoga teacher who seems like she's the most centered mommy on earth. The author tackles a variety of religious ideas and incorporates them into her 'Parenting with Soul' philosophy. This book is killing me because I'm supposed to only read one chapter a week so I can incorporate a new practice weekly (this week, three deep breathes at those many moments when I want to explode--like when Shane colors his leg with a Sharpie for example...wait, that was last week, I actually did explode, but finally, the ink has washed off) I digress...so now I'm breaking my other neurotic reading rule, which is to only read one book at a time. So I just dove into a new YA novel and it feels deliciously sinful.



*2am OBSESSING-I think I'm trying to break some kind of record here. Usually, I am not one of those insomniac types that needs a warm milk and melatonin to drift off to sleep. Usually I don't wake up in the middle of the night, quietly obsessing over agent submissions, writers conferences, article deadlines or kindergarten registration. Usually it's the boys that interrupt my sleep. I believe I'm going on five days now of being exhausted from thinking way too much in the wee hours. What do I do???



Rob's Faves

(usually I don't write about the hubby since he actually knows how to read, unlike my boys, who I can still torture by telling their stories, but I'm sleep-deprived and really don't care!)



*HOCKEY--we are into the summer season, which means hockey games two nights a week for the lucky guy.

*OAKLAND A'S--note to self, must by baseball tickets for a nice father's day present for the guy.



See, I was nice to Rob. Isn't he lucky?

Surviving May

This is my month of chaos. Six birthdays in a matter of three weeks, including my mom's, son's and mine. Mother's Day. Over the top birthday planning for Bobby's big 5th birthday. One Transformer cake and a wooden play structure that took my husband and very generous brothers close to eight hours to build. Now I wake up refreshed this morning, the day after Mother's Day, total relief.

No more present shopping, no more lost birthday cards, no more urging my sons to sign yet another card, no really, just one more! The May madness is finally left behind. Usually I feel let down, usually my birthday and Mother's Day get kind of pushed together into one not-so-celebratory whole. This year, not really... I even had my own night, a night to toast a new year with my family. This year, I was at peace. This year will be my last in my twenties. This year my grandpa sent me a check urging me to buy red shoes to go with my red purse (thanks grandpa! still woefully behind on thank you cards obviously...)



Finally, I was able to wake up today and take a deep breath, knowing nothing was expected of me other than the everyday mother duties. Meals and scrubbing children and home clean. Today, we can sit out in the yard and enjoy the sunshine, the boys swinging away on their new playground, me chilling out with a new book. Yay!

Or me, urging Bobby and myself to pen some magnificently late thank you cards...

A New Earth...for Kelly

I must have struggled with Eckhart Tolle's book the most I have ever struggled through reading a piece. Usually, if it is that hard, I just close the book and pass it on to someone I think will appreciate it more. But all the hype about "A New Earth" kept dragging me back. FINALLY I finished the spiritual-new agey thing last night and here's my take:


1. I can see why Oprah loves this, why she's taken it on as her latest mission in spreading world peace, better for humanity kind of thing. Kind of like what she did with The Secret.


2. I don't think your average reader will be able to get through this on his own. The reading is very dense, very out there, yet also, very repetitive. Hence the reason it took me so long.


3. That said, I totally believe in the message Mr. Tolle is trying to spread. Using texts from Christianity (a lot of Jesus quotes), Buddhism, Taoism, Judaism, he basically says all world religions really carry the same underlying message: if you are totally present and conscious during the moment, the transformation within will be spectacular. If you transform, you in turn, will transform the world.


4. So I loved the last 40 or so pages where he really gets to the meat of what he's saying. We must be present, live only for the moment--not the future, definitely not for the past. How do we do this? By our attitude toward the present moment. If it is a difficult moment, we feel acceptance. Because each moment is fleeting. If the moment is mundane (i.e., folding six loads of laundry while your sons' try doing body slams into the mountains of clean clothes with their greasy bodies), you 'enjoy' the moment. Because this moment is beautiful and fleeting--soon they will be too old, they will be out of the house, you won't even be doing the laundry anymore... Then Tolle zones in on the highest level of presence: enthusiasm:

"Enthusiasm means there is deep enjoyment in what you do plus the added element of a goal or a vision that you work toward."



Then he goes on (and on and on, man this guy can ramble and repeat sometimes) that although you are working toward something, it's so important to remain in the present moment, not looking forward to something in the far off future.



Of course this makes sense to me as a writer/aspiring novelist. The goal and vision is there: to see my name on the spine of an awesome book. The road toward that goal is perpetually endless. (How many agents have I submitted to already?) But if I take Mr. Tolle's advice, I wouldn't focus on the future, but on the actual moment when I am writing or editing or submitting or waiting ENDLESSLY for a response from another so-called dream agent. If I am present in the moment of all this, my energy will be enthusiastic and positive which will shine in that finished product.



Ah, easier said than done.



So that's just my take on the Tolle book. Now I shall head over to the Oprah website to see what the girl has to say about it...