Santa Says

I had a new playing card to deal out to my two year old, Chops, this past month. It is the timely, spirited Santa card, replete with bribery and idle threats. A typical scenario would play out something like this...

"Chops, stop messing with the cat."

"NO! That's MY cat."

"Kitty cat scratches. Stop pulling on his tail."

Devious smile accompanies the gentle tugging of the cat's tail flicking with agitation.

"Chops, Santa is watching you right now and he doesn't like it when you don't listen to Mama. What is he going to do with all those toys the elves are making for you? He won't bring them to boys who don't listen to their mommies."

Head tilts in interest and he quickly withdraws the offending hand and moves on to scribbling wall with crayon.

Repeat previous conversation, inserting, "Drop the crayon!" for every "Leave kitty alone" remark.

I'm not proud I have to resort to bribery when it comes to my two year old. And, even blatant bribery using a figure of a religious holiday, began to lose its effects come mid-December. Threats of no toys or trains from the elusive Santa soon failed to register even a glancing acknowledgement from Chops.

Well, to shorten my long long trial that was December, I have resolved not to use that trick next year. Chops is on to me. After all the idle threats, hands on my hips, smoke billowing out of my ears... Chops still managed to get that train table and set from Santa. Instead of coal and dog food in his stocking, he found treats and hot wheels and a whole clutter of toys from the dutiful elves.

Maybe I should learn a thing or two from Santa. Tis the season for forgiveness. Santa is a symbol. He came through with the toys, but I have the power to take them away. Heh heh heh!