Two Mall Monsters

I'm what you'd call one of those impulsive mommies, jumping into a lot of things on a whim, with no preparation involved. I guess the philosophy behind this is no excessive preparation equals no disappointment when my plans fall through...which happens soooo much living with these two little vermin smearing play dough all over my carpet.

So I woke up this morning and did my usual morning routine. Big Bear from a certain Disney show the boys like calls this the morning mambo. Mine is this:

Roll out of bed to attend to screaming, soggy toddler climbing out of crib.

Change diapers; fill sippy cups.

Crawl onto couch and put on The Wiggles Show and bide my time until the whole breakfast, make lunch for hubby routine is pushed on me.

Attach IV of coffee to arm and walk out to driveway with ratnest hair and desperate housewife bathrobe for the newspaper (my neighbors must love this).

Turn to the horoscope page and seal my fate for the day...

which brings me back to this morning and a certain whimsy in my soul. I had a coupon getting ready to expire for a portrait studio and the knowledge that I haven't had the boys' pictures done in over a year. I had coordinated silky button up dress shirts that actually fit them, although it makes them look like hustlers (or golf pros)...and absolutely no plans for the day.

My Taurean fate for the day was this: A three out of five star day, pretty normal for me. And astronomer Eugenia Last (who never misses the mark on my day forecast): Nothing should deter you from following through with your plans. You can make fabulous changes that will ensure your success.

Well hot damn!
It was off the the photo shoot with the fellas!

Except, I only have two hands to contain two other sets of hands and feet. And no appointment...although, that's never stopped me before. And no extra money to speak of since my wild and expensive (wildly expensive?) girls' weekend a few days ago.

(Check out http://www.myspace.com/withtwoboys for evidence of my naughty ways.)

But I went for it anyway because Shane's hair is adorably long and blond surfer style. And Bobby is starting preschool in two weeks, yet another milestone I cannot wait for. Bring on the pictures!

Wouldn't you know, I headed to Walmart first with my two men dressed in their finest and several bribes in my back pocket (cookies, crackers, promises for a picnic in the park)... We strolled in right at opening with a young girl with a dazed look on her face manning the small portrait studio inside. There is a reason, folks, Walmart only charges $8 for approximately 3000 photos, which I soon discovered. After waiting patiently as possible with two boys climbing chairs and swiping at computer keyboards while she searched for the appointent book, answered two personal phone calls, and finally invited them to sit in front of the neutral background, the girl spent another five minutes posing them and making strange clucking noises that were supposed to induce giggles, but instead terrified Shane. She finally leaned over the massive camera and announced:

"It's broke. And I don't know how to work it."

My jaw dropped. She continued:

"I mean, I could take their pictures, but they'd be kinda blurry soooo you probably don't want to waste your time." Nervous giggle followed. Indeed. Like I'd been standing in that lobby for close to thirty minutes, but let's not waste anybody's time.

So I packed the nearly rebelling boys back into the shopping cart to cruise Walmart and pick up some things in the hopes she'd pull it together and figure out how to work the camera.

Long story short...

I coasted by awhile later after Bobby almost knocked down a whole display of vacumn cleaners and Shane's eyes were puffed out from crying for an Elmo toy and she was still standing by the camera scratching her head.

But Eugenia Last said nothing should deter me! She used the word FABULOUS and SUCCESS in one sentence. I would not fail.

I raced to the nearest mall, balancing my cell phone up against my ear, trying to make an appointent with another studio, the one I actually had the coupon for in the first place. And indeed, my astronomer waved her fairy dust over us and got me an appointment fifteen minutes later.

And the lobby had a tv/vcr furnished with Disney movies to entertain the boys with while I did paperwork....

And the photographer was an adorable girl that actually got the boys to laugh and sit still. I contemplated stuffing her in the back of my minivan to be my live in nanny.

And the pictures turned out awesome.

And I didn't go completely overboard or out of budget when ordering.

SUCCESS!!!

Besides the havoc left in our wake when we exited the mall. Shane somehow got grease all over his hands, dress shirt, and half of the chairs in the lobby. Both boys slimed the rest of the chairs with their lollipop hands and cracker crumbs.

But I got their pictures done and it's ALL good.

You must be wondering how I have the time to write such a LONG post. I scored again because both the boys are napping in sync! YAY!