I wrote about the documentary by local film-maker Vicki Abeles in the March issue of
Bay Area Kids. The honest and eye-opening interviews with parents, teachers, education advocates and the film-maker herself were so rich, I couldn’t possibly include all the information in my article.
One subject I didn’t have the space to dive into is the tragic suicide of Bay Area thirteen year old Devon Marvin in 2008.Her mother Jane made the brave choice to share her experience in the final cut of the documentary..
Devon killed herself over a bad math grade. This tragic act demonstrates the immense pressure our students face. Devon’s mother attended a screening of a rough cut of the film. After witnessing the audience’s response to the message, she offered to be interviewed in the hopes of informing other families struggling against our culture’s pressure toward high achievement.
The footage of her vibrant daughter is heartbreaking. Of her interview, Vicki says “I’m grateful she had the courage and trust to share her story. She reinforces the message about the importance of talking to our kids, stop pressuring them to have good grades.”
Marvin shares her daughter’s story to show what happens when things go to far, how life can fall apart in an instant.
“We want parents to be aware of this type of silent suffering. Suicide is a complicated issue, it’s hard to point to one cause as a culture. We need to examine the unhealthy environment and how it contributes to mental health,” Abeles says.
Pleasanton teacher Lennis Sadler, who also has three children, adds to this sentiment.
When I asked her if she questions any of the movie’s claims about education in America, she said:
“
Not for a moment. I am living it. My friends are living it. The messages that really made an impact were:
Students doing everything possible to get an A, and forgetting subject matter the minute the test was over.
Students staying up really late to finish projects.
Students learning how to cheat.
Students taking drugs to stay up.
Students being expected to have above 4.0 GPA if they want to get into a good college.
Suicide.”
She continued:
“I think we are obsessed with competing in a global market. ...All we are doing is robbing them of their freedom, their childhood, and making them into stressed out young people who feel they have to do whatever is necessary to be successful.”
What happened to instilling the love for learning, just to absorb the world around us? Opening children up to possibility, creativity and open ideas?
Kerry Dickinson, a Danville mom and homework advocate, says schools should be teaching children how to be ‘world citizens’.
What can we do to protect our children from the pressure and this society of high expectations?
Abeles said all the little changes add up. Lennis Sadler reducing her homework in her second grade classroom is one of them. Kerry Dickinson scheduling an appointment with a school administrator to question the normal standards of homework in her district is another. Jane Marvin opening a door into her grief in order to help others is another.
Take a stand in your home, your classroom, your community.
“It was not until college, when I chose my own career, that I took ownership of my future, and that I started learning for myself, not others,” Sadler says. “That message has been lost. We are forcing students to try to achieve so high so early that we are burning them out before they even get to college.”
Vicki Abeles says it’s so important for parents to jump off that treadmill of what is expected, to question everything. No one else will advocate for your children’s rights but you.
If you are reading this now, you may want that change. Go to a screening of the movie. Share it’s message with other parents and with your child’s teacher. Talk to your child about school and learn to back off when it’s clear she is overwhelmed. After watching the film and talking to other parents and to Abeles, I want more than ever to protect my children from those high expectations and pressure to be perfect. I want them to love learning and school, but I don't want them buried under piles of worksheets after logging in six hours at school. I want them to stay children for as long as they can.
To learn more, visit
www.endtheracetonowhere.com.
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